A Strong Home

Inspiration and encouragement for mothers and household managers

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2019 Adventures – From the Sonoran Desert to the Blue Ridge Mountains

January 28, 2020

So much has happened over the past year. In February 2019, our family moved across the country from Phoenix, AZ to Southwest Virginia. It was a long process, but we are so happy we made this decision for our family. The easy part was selling our home in a sought after family-friendly neighborhood of Gilbert, AZ. Jacob did a wonderful job of making it our dream home over the nearly three years we lived there. If we could have somehow brought that house with us to our ideal climate and town, we would have. The hard part was leaving our family and friends and the community we had grown to love. We said goodbye to everyone and had our last double-birthday party in Arizona for Julia and Jacob the weekend before we left. Jacob and I took a little break from packing to say farewell to the desert and the mountains Jacob had lived near his entire life.

The long trip was made easier with three adults – my mom decided to come with us to Virginia and be a stay-at-home Grandma! We had lots of snacks, activities, a tablet, and this handy carseat cart to pull one of the girls through the airport while we pushed the other in the stroller. We brought both carseats on the plane with us and the baby napped a little on the flight. The flight in was my very first glimpse of our new home – Jacob was the only one who had gone over during his interviews with his new company. I relied on pictures, local Facebook mom groups, Google maps, and some new local friends to help us finalize our decision to move. There was so much that went into that – hours of research on schools, neighborhoods, daycare centers, events and local activities, short term rentals, and the housing market. Every new bit of information I found only made a better case for us moving to this area – it was the perfect size, population, and climate that we were looking for.

We started off in a short-term furnished rental home in a beautiful neighborhood, crammed in with our landlord’s furniture and our own, plus all of our unpacked boxes. Everyday was an adventure. Our 1-year old took her first steps surrounded by moving boxes. We saw our first Virginia snowfall and the girls played in snow for the very first time. We had lots of encounters with new wildlife (deer, groundhogs, cardinals, and blue jays). It was magical, but we knew we had a long road ahead of us. To make things more interesting, a couple months after the move I decided to leave my company and return to a former employer. This meant a busier schedule for me, but also the opportunity to meet with co-workers in the local office.

With my mom helping out watching the girls, Jacob and I started the process of house hunting during any free time we could find. This was much more challenging than we were anticipating. The houses we checked out were on lots with great views, but the lots themselves were often sloped with no usable backyard. The flat lots we found usually had older homes built on them. We found a slightly older house to purchase that needed (and still needs) some work. It is in the perfect location, on a great lot, and has plenty of room for our family. After getting the priority work done, we moved in and started our list of weekend projects. Just as we were starting to decorate the basement playroom, we had a heavy rainfall and the basement flooded. Jacob and I were bailing water for an entire day! Luckily, there wasn’t a ton of damage. We did, however, decide it was time this house had a sump pump and French drain installed. After the dust settled and summer was almost at an end, we finally had both projects completed. Jacob did almost all of the French drain work himself and redid the front entry landing. It looks great now, and I can’t wait for spring to come so we can plant all the pretty flowers!

While all of this was happening, we did get a few moments here and there to enjoy our new city. The area in the Blue Ridge Mountains is breathtaking. The spring has beautiful blooming trees in white, light pink, and dark pink and everything is so green! Summer is just as lovely and offers great opportunities to get out on the lakes and rivers. But the season I was looking forward to the most was autumn, and Virginia definitely did not disappoint! The colors were amazing – I had never seen anything like that before. Just driving to the grocery store was a magical experience with the reds, yellows, and oranges that filled the mountains all around us.

This past year was not all about picking paint colors and enjoying the mountain scenery of our new home, though. Our family experienced great loss and grief over the past several months that made me appreciate all I have and have gone through. I believe that the trials and pain we go through in life make us stronger and can teach us healing and coping mechanisms that will help when a great tragedy occurs. I am grateful for the strong support system and close family and friends I can depend on. We’ve found an amazing new church family, we’re meeting new friends in the community, and it looks like I’ve found my local #momtribe with some interesting and fun ladies.

All in all, it was a year of growth, life changing experiences, and many adventures. This year we plan to finally get out and explore. We’re hoping to use our time off to travel around Virginia, North Carolina, and maybe Tennessee. I am looking forward to the coming months and all 2020 has to bring!

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Filed Under: At Home, DIY, Home DIY, Marriage, Mom Life Tagged: home, moving, renovations, travel, Virginia

A Solid Foundation for a Strong Home

January 18, 2017

The months leading up to your wedding is an exciting time, with many opportunities for quality time and to tackle some hurdles together during the planning process.  Amidst the engagement parties and wedding showers, wedding and honeymoon planning, some couples may get caught up in the chaos but it is important to set aside plenty of time to reflect on this important phase that is quickly approaching.

My husband and I were married three years ago. I remember how excited we were to start our new life together.  We took a Pre-Marriage Prep class through a local church and really enjoyed it.  The class gave us an opportunity to meet with other couples in the same relationship stages and share the happy moments, feelings, and struggles that we’re all going through.  Every relationship is unique, but there are a few areas that everyone can learn to handle a little better. Communication, conflict resolution, money management, and family boundaries were just a few topics covered.

We also took an assessment from Prepare/Enrich that measured our strengths and areas for improvement as well as personality traits, family backgrounds, and ability to handle stress.  This is used as a tool to add to the conversation in the class.

We followed the class up with meeting our assigned mentor couple to continue the preparation for our upcoming nuptials.  We had so much fun talking about our relationship and getting to know our mentor couple, a more experienced married couple who has been trained to help newlyweds adjust to married life.

Normally, a counseling session with our pastor would come next, but it was not required since we were not getting married in the church (or the same state, for that matter).

I’m a huge advocate of pre-marital counseling and pre-marriage prep, even if it’s just reading some helpful books and working through workbooks together.  Many times, one or both may be reluctant to bring up an issue that is usually pretty common in relationships, or even something unique to that relationship.  Communication is extremely important going into a marriage, and it is best to get started early!

  1. Find a Marriage Prep workshop or class. These will usually be hosted by a local church. If you can’t find a marriage prep workshop in your area or if your church does not offer pre-marital counseling (or you just want to get a little extra help), I recommend reading Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott.  This book offers great questions and talking points to develop a healthy discussion about your relationship and expectations for your upcoming marriage.
  2. Talk about your expectations early and often. I feel like a broken record here, but communication is key! Jacob and I were very clear with each other about everything – from our goals in life to responsibilities around the house. We even negotiated who would be picking up after the dog outside! Nothing is too insignificant to talk about before the big day. I think this prevents those silly little arguments many couples have the first year of marriage.
  3. Discuss your finances. Revealing your current financial situation and discussing how you will handle your finances together after marriage is so important. Many marital fights are triggered by money, so it’s best to get on the same page now! I highly recommend checking out the resources from Dave Ramsey. His Financial Peace University class includes a lesson on money and relationships, and it was a big eye-opener for us.

If you do these three things, you’re sure to start your marriage off on the right foot. Good luck to you and happy planning!

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Filed Under: Marriage Tagged: marriage, pre-marriage

Five Minute Friday – Broken

July 26, 2013

Photo by zzpza

It’s Friday again!  Every Friday, Lisa-Jo hosts a great party called Five Minute Friday.  This is where we get one word to write about for five minutes, no editing.  Today, the word is: Broken.  

GO.

It must have been in some book like Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus where I read that women talk about their problems and men have this natural urge to fix them.  This is so true!  Women don’t usually want suggestions on how to fix the problems they encounter everyday, just to get their frustrations off their chest.  When our husbands try to offer a solution, we get confused and further frustrated.  If he zones out, we get irritated.  First, there’s nothing broken, so don’t try to fix it.  Just listening and offering a few consoling words is a huge help.  If we want input on how to fix something, we’ll ask for it.  

Women must understand this about their husbands as well.  Try keeping it simple and not going off on random tangents – this is when you’ll see his eyes start to glaze over.  Make sure you warn him before you start your rant about your terrible day that you just need him to listen to you vent.  Remember, communicating about how you both think, feel, and understand each other is a huge part of keeping your relationship healthy.  It’s an ongoing project.

STOP.

I must have marriage on the brain, but who can blame me with less than two months until the big day!  Happy Friday, everyone!

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Filed Under: Marriage, Uncategorized

Marriage

January 11, 2013

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Filed Under: Marriage, slider

Hi there!

Hi there!

Hello and welcome! I’m Jen, a proposal writer by day, blogger by night, happy wife and mommy. I live in SW Virginia with my husband, Jacob and our sweet girls, Julia and Jocelyn.

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